If you are in the midst of a divorce or are already divorced and are dealing with the aftermath, it can be an extremely emotional and trying time. While we struggle to understand what has happened and pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and families we attempt to move forward. I've often said to those around me, you do not know what it is like to walk in my shoes. Although two divorced people may be able to share and relate, no two people feel the same and can truly know what the other feels inside. Support from family and friends is essential in these most trying of times. We are told we will "get through this" and "kids are resilient, they will bounce back" but it pains my heart that anyone--especially the innocent children have to be put through and subject to a divorce. We, as parents, always hope that our children who are hurting and suffering the trauma of a divorce will get through it with little pain and scars. While kids do learn how to adapt to the divorce and trauma that it brings, they still need our help to get through it. Kids grieve so many losses as the result of a divorce. One parent will move out and possibly away, depending on the financial situation, the child may be forced to move to a new home, school and surrounding. Friendships sometimes change, the custodial parent may find themselves hurt and angry. All sense of security has been compromised.
There is no easy answer and unfortunately for those of us who have found ourselves in it, we must go through it to get to the other side. There is no way around it. I have found that divorce support groups help as people sit together and openly talk. Individual, one on one counseling is another great resource. Surrounding ourselves with our children who at this moment need us the most and even our family and friends can do wonders for a hurting heart. Faith and the written word can heal us spiritually.
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