In Keeping With Gratitude

Thinking about this last year, I find myself being grateful for my life and experiences, both positive and negative, and looking forward to the new year and the exciting uncertainty with what lays ahead.  I have learned that where we are at any given moment is exactly where we should be and that everything goes or flows according to Divine order.

 

If I can consider for one moment letting the world around me unfold naturally without trying to "figure it all out".  If I can let relationships just be and not try so hard to force something to work and just silently observe or allow it to unfold.  If I cannot always fret and try to understand my child, my parents, siblings, boss and anyone else, because there is something greater out there than me working at it at all times.  When my expectations are smashed and I practice allowing it to be the way that it is.  Relax, let go, allow and realize that some of my desires are about how I think my world should be, rather than how it is in that moment how much better off will I be?  How much more at peace and living in gratitude for what is will I be?  If I become an observer and judge less and listen more and take time to open my mind to the mystery and uncertainty that we all experience in this life how much happier will I truly be.......


 

Gratitude

In keeping with my post from earlier this week, I'd like to add a few more things to my GRATITUDE list ~

• My wonderful son
• My parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew
• My entire family
• My friends
• My life

God has showered me with many blessings.  The love of my wonderful family and friends.  The good health I enjoy.  The ability to walk, talk, see, hear, run, play, work and learn all on my own.

Please feel free to add to this list what you are grateful for.

 

Life's Blessings Finding The Positives

I don't know if anyone ever feels down being a single parent and dealing with all the stress of being 2-parents-in-one?  I know that I sure have!  I have however found that one way to turn that "feeling down/ho-hum" feeling around is to count at least one blessing every day.  No matter how small it may seem. 

 

I've struggled a lot with depression over the years and always seemed to look at what I DON'T have instead of focusing on WHAT I DO!  In the end, I've learned that all the medication and counseling in the world could never even begin to fix what ails me unless I start with my mind.  The power of the mind is very strong and can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare.

 

I've heard it said that what you focus on expands so if that stands to reason, it's no wonder that the more I focus on "how bad life is" and what I DON'T have it seems to grow and ultimately I feel worse.  I've decided to try an experiment and look at things differently this holiday season focusing on what I DO have and while it may be difficult at times to do so with finances being tight and the lack of sun we see during this time of year, I've thought about at the same time I am focusing on the positives in my life, I will also put myself in a position to do something for someone else every day even if I "don't feel like it" and maybe I will find more blessings and things to be thankful for along the way.  I heard a saying once, "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet."  How much brighter could I make someone else's day if I just simply smile at them while passing on the street or by holding a door for someone and telling them to have a nice day.  I think focusing on what I do have while at the same time working to help make someone else feel a bit better just may do the trick?  The person I smile at or talk to or hold the door for, may be feeling the exact same way I do and not know how to find relief from it.  In the end, I will not only be helping myself but "my fellow man" as well.

 

 

Today, I'd like to start a GRATITUDE list.  Anyone who wishes to add something they are thankful for, please feel free to post it here.

• My wonderful son.

 

 

Novena To The Blessed Virgin

O most beautiful flower of Mount Carmel,  fruitful vine, splendor of Heaven, Blessed Mother of the Son of God, Immaculate Virgin, assist me in this my necessity.

 

O Star of the Sea, help me and show me herein you are my mother.  O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart to succor me this necessity (state your specific request or intention here)

 

There are none that can withstand your power.  O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee (say three times)

 

Holy Mary, I place this prayer in your hands (say three times)

 

Say this prayer for 9 consecutive days and then publish and it will be granted to you.

 

With a grateful heart, thank you for listening to me my dear Mother.

How Can I Help My Child Succeed In School

1. Read to or with your child every night.
2. Help your child with his/her homework every night.
3. Do not talk negatively about your child's teachers or about school.
4. Make sure your child is getting plenty of sleep and is ready for school each day.
5. Teach your child to be responsible for their actions and their schoolwork.
6. Stay involved and feel free to contact your child's teacher with any questions or concerns.
7. Ask your child about school every day and encourage them to discuss the day.

Updates

Check Out The Following Pages for today August 29, 2012

Recipes

Money Saving Ideas

Thoughts On Back To School

Well for most kids school has been back in session for a short time now.  My son has just completed his first week of 4th grade.  It's been a fairly easy transition getting "back in the swing of things" from the lazy summer days to getting back to business of schoolwork.  It is wonderful to watch a child grow isn't it?  It takes me back to a time when life was simpler for myself and I had to "worry" about was getting my homework done and what my friends and I were going to do.  As a single mom raising a child in today's world, I can only hope that I am giving him all he needs to learn and grow and become self-sufficient and stand on his own two feet when it's time to fly the nest.  I hope that all children (and their families) are adjusting well to the back-to-school routine and are embracing every opportunity to learn and grow. 

Back To School

It's hard to believe that another summer is drawing to a close and with that so starts another year of school.  For my son it will be 4th grade.  No matter what the grade or age for that matter, the starting of school marks the beginning of a new adventure, a clean slate, starting fresh.  What a truly exciting time.  The possibilities are endless.  Some kids can't wait to get back to school to see their friends, learn something new or are just ready for a change and get back to a routine.  Others are scared and uncertain, new school, new teacher, new friends, new course of study.  Whatever the feeling each child goes through the adjustment of going back to school.  I hope it will be a fun and enjoyable time for the children where happy memories are made.  I came across a website Back To School which shares a wealth of good information about going back to school for not only kids but also for parents and teens.  If home schooling is a consideration this year, I thought I'd suggest the Home Schooling Guidebook which offers a lot of information for parents in helping to make the right decision if home schooling is right for you and your child or children.  For the youngest of children who are getting ready for pre-school or will soon be entering pre-school, I located the following tools to help your child prepare.  Good study habits, eating right, plenty of rest and relaxation as well as goal setting are some key factors to making the school year a success!

Alone --- Why Am I Alone? Part 2 - Things Really Are Not That Bad

I wrote last night about my feelings and the constant question that runs through my mind, Why Am I Alone? and after hearing this 12-year-old girl's inspirational story and heroic battle with cancer, suddenly my "woes" don't seem so bad.  As I've written in a previous post, we all have our "crosses to bear" each and every one of us and how we "bear" them makes all the difference in the world.  This little girl, who is not much older than my son, is fighting for her life and truly living her life to the fullest and taking the hand that she has been dealt in stride and using it to do good and help and inspire others.  It makes me reflect and thank my lucky stars instead of focusing on Why Am I Alone? I should be thanking God and rejoicing that my son does not have cancer and neither do I.  We can't always have it so bad that we can't have it worse is something my mom has always said to me.  Well, listening to this little girl's amazing story has inspired me to focus on what I do have and not what I don't.  If you are like me and have days that bring you down, take a look at this and hopefully things won't seem so bad in your world anymore either.

Alone --- Why Am I Alone?

I share with you today that I am struggling with the question I seem to find myself unfortunately asking way more than I ever imagined. After my ex-husband of 10 years had an affair and left me and my son, it took a long, long time for me to get into the mode of dating. Once I finally did, I found myself in a string of relationships that ended with the man leaving me every time. The first said he was going to marry me, the relationship was wonderful and lasted 4 months and ended with his words of "I'm just not feelin' it" and he married someone else immediately following. It took me a year to recover from that heartbreak and allow myself to date again. Not only did it affect me, it affected my son. A year later, I entered into a relationship with someone who told my son, "I'll always be here for you" and 6 months later, he was gone. As recently as last fall, I entered into another relationship with someone I have known for over 25 years. Did that one last? No. He's gone. I have no idea where he is. I look at my son and I worry about the example these guys are giving. I don't want him to grow up thinking that that is what guys do, they leave so I have once again been forced to look at myself and ask the question, Why Am I Alone? I'm a good woman who cares for others. I go to church, I pray, I believe in God. I am kind, I help others, I've never been unfaithful. When I love someone I pour my heart and soul into the relationship and give 110%. I don't quit at the first sign of trouble and keep trying and learning and growing. I look at my ex-husband and the fact that he is re-married and ask the same question Why Am I Alone? when he is the one who cheated, had an affair and broke up our family. I'm not sure that this is a question that anyone can answer only God knows but it doesn't stop the hurt and pain that I live with daily. I share this extremely personal story because if there is anyone out there who feels like me, I want them to know they are not alone because I feel that way too. I was raised by parents who have been married for 47 years to each other and only one time. We don't see that in this world today and so when I look at my parent's relationship which is happy by the way, I can't help but wonder why was I never able to find that At my age now, I will never see 47 years of marriage I'm simply too old.

I was surfing the internet this evening in between tears, and came across this ebook which is oddly enough titled the question I keep finding myself asking Why Am I Alone?

Greetings

I hope everyone is having a good weekend and a great relaxing Sunday spending time doing the things you enjoy.  My son and I went to church and spent the day relaxing on the couch watching a fun movie DreamWorks' Megamind.  I so enjoy spending time with my son playing, watching a movie, reading a book or going out on an adventure. 

Please share your family time.  I'm interested to hear how others spend their time with their children.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy
in whatever situation I may find myself.
For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness
is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
- Martha Washington

I added a new page today, Recipes.

The recipes that I share on this page are my late-grandmother's recipes that she shared with me in 2002. I have not opened this recipe book until today which is just a few months after her passing. I hope that you will find these recipes delicious and easy to make. As I hope to find for myself as I start making them for myself and my son. Smacznego! (this is Bon appetite in the Polish language). My grandmother was Polish. Her parents came from Poland to the United States in approximately 1912.

I also updated my Helpful Hints and Money Saving Ideas pages as well.  Be sure to check all my pages regularly as I'm always updating.

Thank you for taking the time to read my posts.  By sharing my life with you, I hope that I am able to help in some small way.






The Penny Stock Egghead

Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

My thoughts on this as I read and absorb what the author has written is that, with the pressures and stresses of life in general and then raising a child alone and bearing the burden of being both parents, it's hard at times to be all what our children need, but these words ring true.  They are watching us.  We are shaping them. 

Some Days Are Harder Than Others

Some days I ask myself why are things so hard?  Why can't I find a good man who will stay with me, remain faithful and committed to me and love me until death do us part?  Why can't I get out of debt?  Why am I raising a child alone?  Why was my ex-husband unfaithful?  How could he just up and leave my son and me?  Why?  Why?  Why?  The only answer I can come up with is that mine is not to question why and that this is my lot in life.  Everyone has something to deal with in their life and that this is mine and I just have to "pick up my cross" and carry it just as Jesus did.  It's the only way into to Heaven.  To accept without question and have faith that God is with me every step of the way and that He feels my pain and he feels my joy when I do experience it.  He knows the end result of the plan He layed out for me and so as hard as it is at times, I need to just keep swimming as Dory told Nemo's dad in Finding Nemo.  I know it might sound a little silly using those words but actually when I do, it kind of makes me smile a little and realize that when life gets me down, I need to just keep swimming and then when I focus on those words things don't for, sometimes only a brief second, seem so bad.

Anyone have any thoughts to share of their own?

Try

Unless you try to do something
beyond what you have already mastered,
you will never grow.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life Perspective

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Thoughts On Survival

When another life is dependent on you for survival, focus is an absolute must.  Don't let fear of the unknown and uncertainly stop you dead in your tracks.  Get up.  Get moving.  This is your life and no one can control you but you.  As I so often say to myself and my son, we can only control ourselves, no one else.

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Raising A Child Alone

It's not easy raising a child alone and this is something that I struggle with daily.  I have been blessed with a healthy, beautiful and full-of-life boy and I thank God daily for giving me the best present in the world, a child.  He is the best part of me and the best part of his father and as I've watched him grow over these last 9 years, I'm amazed at what a fine young man he's turning into.

I've been a single mom for 6 years and have struggled a lot with the ups and downs of life and raising a child while asking myself where do I go from here?  What do you want me to do Lord is something I've said many, many times!  I'm often asked by those around me when I'm struggling to make ends meet or presented with a childcare problem (who will watch him so I can work), what do other single parents do?  It's frustrating to me because I don't have that answer and have no idea how others in my "boat" get along daily. I just know what I do and struggle with.  There's no denying it's hard.  My advice to those contemplating divorce or a child out of wedlock, don't do it.  Find a way to make it work.  The one who suffers and loses in the end is the child.  My son said to me just today, "I wish you and dad were still together."  The divorce and ultimate broken family was not and never would've been my decision and while it took the two of us to say we wanted to get married and have a family, saddly, it only took one to say I'm done.  My son's life is wrought with back and forth--time spent with me and time spent with his father-separately.

I am a legal secretary by trade and worked in Chicago, IL for over 15+ years.  I've been studying to complete my double major in International Studies (Spanish) and Business Marketing.  I made the decision about 2 years ago to leave my high-paying job to be more physicially present in my son's life.  The way that I view it is, I have one child.  He's growing up right before my eyes.  I won't have any more children and I remember my mom and dad being at events for me as I was growing up and those memories are priceless and thus that is what I want for my child.  I enjoy volunteering at school and being at home to cook him dinner, help him with his homework or just plain snuggle while watching a movie or one of his favorite shows.  Some may say you have your priorities straight being physically present for your son and others may not.  I guess it's all in the choices we as individualls make.  I want my son to grow up and be able to look back and say, my mom was always there for me.  Maybe we didn't have a lot or the newest of things but she was there.  I didn't have to come home to an empty house.

With that decision to leave a regular 9-5 job came the question ok what do I do to make ends meet and pay my bills?  I enjoy thinking outside the box when it comes to work and found employment as an Independent Contractor doing auditing and mystery shopping for several reputable companies.  I also have a small online clothing shop I opened in December 2011 designing t-shirts and the like with the most memorable sayings that 2 different men in my life decided to say to me when they were ready to move on.  Those 2 sayings while they hurt deeply and struck a cord when I would hear them have made me decide that instead of being bitter over those sayings and the meanings behind them, I could maybe somehow make myself feel better by putting them in black and white so-to-speak to help heel me.  Kind of like if I see the words, maybe it won't hurt so bad.  The old saying when life throws you lemons, make lemonade.  Maybe this doesn't make any sense to anyone but it really has worked for me because now when I see them on my designs, I actually laugh.  It no longer has the same affect on me so it actually has become a win for me.  If you are curious to see the most memorable sayings that I've had said to me after a profession of love and marriage was given, click here DesignedbyJen.