Raising A Child Alone

It's not easy raising a child alone and this is something that I struggle with daily.  I have been blessed with a healthy, beautiful and full-of-life boy and I thank God daily for giving me the best present in the world, a child.  He is the best part of me and the best part of his father and as I've watched him grow over these last 9 years, I'm amazed at what a fine young man he's turning into.

I've been a single mom for 6 years and have struggled a lot with the ups and downs of life and raising a child while asking myself where do I go from here?  What do you want me to do Lord is something I've said many, many times!  I'm often asked by those around me when I'm struggling to make ends meet or presented with a childcare problem (who will watch him so I can work), what do other single parents do?  It's frustrating to me because I don't have that answer and have no idea how others in my "boat" get along daily. I just know what I do and struggle with.  There's no denying it's hard.  My advice to those contemplating divorce or a child out of wedlock, don't do it.  Find a way to make it work.  The one who suffers and loses in the end is the child.  My son said to me just today, "I wish you and dad were still together."  The divorce and ultimate broken family was not and never would've been my decision and while it took the two of us to say we wanted to get married and have a family, saddly, it only took one to say I'm done.  My son's life is wrought with back and forth--time spent with me and time spent with his father-separately.

I am a legal secretary by trade and worked in Chicago, IL for over 15+ years.  I've been studying to complete my double major in International Studies (Spanish) and Business Marketing.  I made the decision about 2 years ago to leave my high-paying job to be more physicially present in my son's life.  The way that I view it is, I have one child.  He's growing up right before my eyes.  I won't have any more children and I remember my mom and dad being at events for me as I was growing up and those memories are priceless and thus that is what I want for my child.  I enjoy volunteering at school and being at home to cook him dinner, help him with his homework or just plain snuggle while watching a movie or one of his favorite shows.  Some may say you have your priorities straight being physically present for your son and others may not.  I guess it's all in the choices we as individualls make.  I want my son to grow up and be able to look back and say, my mom was always there for me.  Maybe we didn't have a lot or the newest of things but she was there.  I didn't have to come home to an empty house.

With that decision to leave a regular 9-5 job came the question ok what do I do to make ends meet and pay my bills?  I enjoy thinking outside the box when it comes to work and found employment as an Independent Contractor doing auditing and mystery shopping for several reputable companies.  I also have a small online clothing shop I opened in December 2011 designing t-shirts and the like with the most memorable sayings that 2 different men in my life decided to say to me when they were ready to move on.  Those 2 sayings while they hurt deeply and struck a cord when I would hear them have made me decide that instead of being bitter over those sayings and the meanings behind them, I could maybe somehow make myself feel better by putting them in black and white so-to-speak to help heel me.  Kind of like if I see the words, maybe it won't hurt so bad.  The old saying when life throws you lemons, make lemonade.  Maybe this doesn't make any sense to anyone but it really has worked for me because now when I see them on my designs, I actually laugh.  It no longer has the same affect on me so it actually has become a win for me.  If you are curious to see the most memorable sayings that I've had said to me after a profession of love and marriage was given, click here DesignedbyJen.